Sex and Solo Cups

patheticlifestory:

i’m just like…

Why is it so hard to find a publicly douchy, but privately nice guy who is in a frat, wears vineyard vines, votes republican, and is cute?? 

If you know anyone with all of the above…or some of the above…please let me know

Anonymous asked: There's this guy that lives in my apartment complex in the town that I go to school in. He's my friend and lately we've been hanging out a lot, just the 2 of us. I know he's into me because he's mentioned it to a couple of my friends and he always asks me to go to dinner with him or to come over and chill. The problem is, I have a bf back at home of 7 years who I've been doing long distance with and I really don't want to cheat on him or break up. But I'm crushing hard on this other guy! Advice?

I think it’s natural to get feelings or crush on someone, especially when your significant other is long distance. That being said, I may come off as a bitch but one thing I do not advocate is cheating. I think it’s good that you’re aware that you have feelings for him and you know that you don’t want to cheat or break up with your boyfriend but sometimes you can’t have everything.  If you like this new guy and you think you want to see where that road takes you then unfortunately you should probably end things back home.  If you don’t want to just make sure that you don’t put yourself in a position where you are vulnerable to cheating. Also, does this apartment guy know you have a boyfriend? Make sure he knows so that you aren’t leading him on. That could be bad too.  If you are interested, go for it, but don’t be dishonest with your bf back home. 

Also, maybe since you’re crushing on this new guy it’s telling you things might not be perfect with your bf.  I’ve never been in your situation but I think you have some things to think about. I hope it all works out for you…keep me posted.

Hope I helped!

Okay, who saw Kim and Kourtney Take New York last night? I sure did and I ate up every single Krazy, Kooky, Kweird moment. And then I took a second and went “OOOHHH” because it totally explains the divorce.

First things first, how cute is baby Mason? I know right. Even when he shits he’s cute. Kid needs a hair cut though. I don’t care how “natural” your Mom is trying to make you…cut the hair kid and you’ll go far.

Kourtney used to be my favorite, and then I discovered just how great Khloe was so Kourtney quickly slipped in the ranks. And thank GOD. Bitch is a whole lot of Krazy. Kale Chips? Really? Do you shit green? I mean for someone who wants to be “natural” you’re sure not in a hurry to take out your implants. Am I right?

Also, am I the only one who totally understands why she and Scott don’t touch any more? I mean Scott couldn’t be less attractive. He dresses so much better than any guy I’ve ever seen but his hair…and his teeth…I just can’t. Whatever. At least they’re entertaining.

Kim on the other hand…what a BORE. Every party, and marriage, has a pooper and that pooper is you. Well, sort of. I mean Frankenstein…I mean Kris kind of needs to grow up. Kim what are you doing marrying a 26 year old anyway? He sees naked guys in the locker room all the time - don’t see what the big deal is. Plus, clearly he’s thinks you’re a toddler because he wraps you like a burrito…I mean, are you that anxious and uptight that you need to be swaddled like a newborn to feel calm?

Regardless, Kim I still love you even though I can’t figure out what happened to your face from 2006 to 2008. And you’re better off without Jack’s Beanstalk aka Kris Dumphries. He’s a lame ugly loser and you’re hot. Plus, I hear Reggie is single…maybe that can happen again? If not my brother is single.

Kan’t wait to Keep Up with this trainwrecK.

xoxo,

SSC

When in doubt, skinny arm out.

There’s nothing more awkward than when girls pose like duds in pictures. If you don’t know what to do with your arm, put it on your side and stick out your hips. I promise, you’ll look twenty pounds lighter.  I feel awkward when I’m not rocking the skinny arm.

I mean, are we shocked? While I love my Armenian goddess I could have told you they were going to get a divorce. I mean, did anyone even see the fairytale special? Kris is the super douche of all douches and Khloe got it right.

Kim was blind by the fact that she could get married so she wasted time and money on a young immature 26-year-old bball player from Minnesota. No offense to Minnesota but I mean, she’s from L.A. and lives a life people could only dream of. Even Kris. No one knew who he was until Kim looked at him.

She’s better off. Now maybe she and Reggie can finally get back together. Am I right?